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Monday 7 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29403) - you deserved it (3036)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29135) - you deserved it (2484)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (3450)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

#20447616
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28615) - you deserved it (6108)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28453) - you deserved it (7441)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28439) - you deserved it (5842)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28176) - you deserved it (7570)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27810) - you deserved it (4847)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27232) - you deserved it (5316)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26923) - you deserved it (36092)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26839) - you deserved it (6024)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26560) - you deserved it (2341)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)



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