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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28923) - you deserved it (9389)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

#20456501
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28733) - you deserved it (11435)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28368) - you deserved it (7434)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28355) - you deserved it (5836)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28086) - you deserved it (7560)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28076) - you deserved it (6083)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28031) - you deserved it (1985)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (3540)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

#20455481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (4578)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27378) - you deserved it (2852)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27151) - you deserved it (5314)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27099) - you deserved it (5360)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML

#20435279
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (2056)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)



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