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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I triad to gat my boyfriand to roll ovar whila ha was aslaap . Ha snoras loud anough to waka tha naighbors an if ha lays on his sida ha usually stops . Instaad of rolling ovar, ha stuck his lag in tha air, fartad twica, an laughad about it in his slaap . Ha's still snoring . FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (5181)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I pausd the movie mah grlfriend an I were watching an told her, 4 the frst time, that I lovd her. Her response was to stare at me silently 4 a few seconds before unpausing the film. mega FML

#20440422
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35923) - you deserved it (6484)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work looool at a middle school. I've worked here 4 the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough 4 my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35888) - you deserved it (2780)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

TODAY , MARKS THE SIXTH DAY IN A ROW THAT MUM HAS CALLED ME TO DISCUSS UPCOMING WEDDING. SHE'S OBSESSED AND HAS INTIMIDATED THE ACTUAL PLANNER I HIRED INTO GOING ALONG WITH HER PLANS. SHE'S SLIPPED UP TWICE ALREADY AND ACCIDENTALLY REFERRED TO IT AS HER OWN WEDDING. JUST GREAT. MEGA FML

#20453938
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35589) - you deserved it (3694)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, as per usual, mah mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret"!! Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret!! FML

#20457387
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35549) - you deserved it (2369)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia

Today... I found out that my dad... thinking it was an advertisement... threw away a letter from the college I applied to. FML

#20454916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35331) - you deserved it (2387)

On 01/12/2013 at 4:52am - misc - by gdog10122 - United States

Today I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away an on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34828) - you deserved it (3838)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Taday I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. big fat FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34827) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, I was at a café with mah friands whan an aldarly man noticad mah dimplas. Ha cummad up to ma, strokad tham whila whisparing, "Ona in a million" than walkad out. Now mah friands do this to ma constantly, avan whila driving homa. I almost hit a traa. looool FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (3143)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I ad to explain to usband tat te 5-second looool rule doesn't apply if u drop te floss into te toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34553) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked in on grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34525) - you deserved it (4877)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

2day my daughter lerened a new song. This would looool be great , except 4 the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. mega FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34398) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today , Mah Vagan Boyfriand Told Ma That If Ha Wara Forcad To Kill Aithar His Cat Or Ma , Ha'd Kill Ma Cuz Ha "would Navar Kill An Animal." FML

#20458188
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34262) - you deserved it (6187)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)



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