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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

#20458188
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36458) - you deserved it (6449)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36319) - you deserved it (3012)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

#20434205
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36210) - you deserved it (3860)

On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36129) - you deserved it (3948)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36065) - you deserved it (5186)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36031) - you deserved it (6500)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35702) - you deserved it (3701)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

#20457387
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (2373)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35510) - you deserved it (2926)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my dad, thinking it was an advertisement, threw away a letter from the college I applied to. FML

#20454916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35436) - you deserved it (2396)

On 01/12/2013 at 4:52am - misc - by gdog10122 - United States

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35362) - you deserved it (8583)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35049) - you deserved it (3169)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34613) - you deserved it (4885)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)



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