Saturday 5 January 2013 
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Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25732) - you deserved it (1649)
On 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Megz (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25654) - you deserved it (2101)
On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25605) - you deserved it (2574)
On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (6801)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia
Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25517) - you deserved it (2278)
On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I was asked out by a friend of mine. He's a doctor and works at a prestigious hospital, so thinking we would eat somewhere special, I got all dressed up. We ended up eating at his hospital's cafeteria, because he gets a small employee discount. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25474) - you deserved it (5130)
On 01/11/2013 at 2:37pm - love - by wowthanks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25419) - you deserved it (3288)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25024) - you deserved it (10305)
On 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm - misc - by Les Miserables is so sad (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25010) - you deserved it (1792)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (3855)
On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24797) - you deserved it (4788)
On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24371) - you deserved it (1625)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States
Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (2053)
On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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