Saturday 5 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18832) - you deserved it (1233)
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18800) - you deserved it (1590)
On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18748) - you deserved it (2182)
On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18736) - you deserved it (3858)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18458) - you deserved it (5347)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:30am - love - by VampObsessed - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18383) - you deserved it (7090)
On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18243) - you deserved it (6465)
On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I came home to a flooded apartment and water still pouring from the ceiling. The woman who lives above me is shocked that I would consider her responsible for the damage and doesn't think she should have to pay for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18132) - you deserved it (768)
On 01/06/2013 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18086) - you deserved it (7142)
On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17712) - you deserved it (5901)
On 01/06/2013 at 3:17am - misc - by kiken.bara - United States
Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17325) - you deserved it (1189)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17321) - you deserved it (1123)
On 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm - misc - by HatedGrandson - United States
Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17236) - you deserved it (874)
On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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