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Saturday 5 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (1681)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22179) - you deserved it (5714)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21908) - you deserved it (6545)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

#20455481
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21567) - you deserved it (4453)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21427) - you deserved it (3904)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

#20447616
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21352) - you deserved it (4384)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

#20446338
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21255) - you deserved it (5153)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21180) - you deserved it (1942)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML

#20435279
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (1258)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20816) - you deserved it (1644)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

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