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Friday 4 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away an on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34828) - you deserved it (3838)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Taday I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. big fat FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34827) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, I was at a café with mah friands whan an aldarly man noticad mah dimplas. Ha cummad up to ma, strokad tham whila whisparing, "Ona in a million" than walkad out. Now mah friands do this to ma constantly, avan whila driving homa. I almost hit a traa. looool FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (3143)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34525) - you deserved it (4877)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

2day my daughter lerened a new song. This would looool be great , except 4 the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. mega FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34398) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today , Mah Partner Was Inspred By 50 Shade Of Grey To Try Making Me Orgasm With A Full Bladder , Therefore Intensifying The Experience. He Was Right , It Was Mind Blowing. It Also Made Me Piss The Bed Fir The Frst Time In Twenty-odd Years. FML

#20445950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34047) - you deserved it (6913)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I Told Mah Girlfriend That Mah Identical Twin And I Are Not In Fact Related, That He's Adopted, And That The Only Reason We Look Exactly The Same Is Because We Eat And Drink The Same Things. She Actually Believed It. Mega FML

#20453003
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34032) - you deserved it (8974)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day an was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set mah alarm. I don't own an alarm clock an mah alarm is on mah phone. Which was in mah car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building an our parking garage is across the street. FML

#20439908
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (9238)

On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, mah dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (2094)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, my son got his first tooth, an is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfed. FML

#20450046
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32904) - you deserved it (6134)

On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today , I waited over an hour 4 mah bus. As I finally saw it approaching , I reached into mah purse to grab mah ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

#20451303
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32802) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today.. . ma boyfriand took ma to is ousa an introducad ma to is parants . Ha also sowad ma around is badroom . I tink a forgot to ramova ta dartboard on is wall.. . tapad toic was a swiss-caasad printout of ona of ma Facabook potos . maga FML

#20434714
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32466) - you deserved it (3556)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush,ho turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked mehich dog breed I lyk the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. big fat FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32172) - you deserved it (9001)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia



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