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Friday 4 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

#20445378
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15830) - you deserved it (1266)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15600) - you deserved it (9733)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML

#20443596
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15200) - you deserved it (2838)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:00am - health - by Dracoboxer357 - Canada

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

#20442068
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15151) - you deserved it (6411)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML

#20442809
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14315) - you deserved it (2480)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

#20443243
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14221) - you deserved it (1016)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by tftm - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13984) - you deserved it (5878)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML

#20444015
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13869) - you deserved it (2222)

On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, both my car and my father's car were broken into. They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, and multiple items of clothing. What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash. FML

#20443271
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13684) - you deserved it (3471)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML

#20452665
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13397) - you deserved it (29780)

On 01/10/2013 at 9:41pm - animals - by jesspie - United Kingdom

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

#20447311
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13381) - you deserved it (82720)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML

#20450824
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13354) - you deserved it (26198)

On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

#20442876
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13161) - you deserved it (2307)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)



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