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Friday 4 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML

#20444416
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19622) - you deserved it (1270)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

#20448091
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19516) - you deserved it (55253)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19504) - you deserved it (2886)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19474) - you deserved it (2276)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years old, with no wife or children. FML

#20445078
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (1071)

On 01/06/2013 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19275) - you deserved it (4096)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18869) - you deserved it (4410)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML

#20441192
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18828) - you deserved it (1232)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:36pm - misc - by millavitsa - Ukraine

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18780) - you deserved it (1590)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

#20442898
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18720) - you deserved it (3853)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

#20443231
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18447) - you deserved it (5345)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:30am - love - by VampObsessed - United States (Texas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

#20446465
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18228) - you deserved it (6465)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home to a flooded apartment and water still pouring from the ceiling. The woman who lives above me is shocked that I would consider her responsible for the damage and doesn't think she should have to pay for it. FML

#20444637
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18118) - you deserved it (767)

On 01/06/2013 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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