Friday 4 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25555) - you deserved it (6801)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia
Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25521) - you deserved it (2278)
On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I was asked out by a friend of mine. He's a doctor and works at a prestigious hospital, so thinking we would eat somewhere special, I got all dressed up. We ended up eating at his hospital's cafeteria, because he gets a small employee discount. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25475) - you deserved it (5130)
On 01/11/2013 at 2:37pm - love - by wowthanks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (3288)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (10305)
On 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm - misc - by Les Miserables is so sad (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25016) - you deserved it (1792)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (3856)
On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (4788)
On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (1625)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States
Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (2053)
On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24262) - you deserved it (1981)
On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)
Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (4172)
Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23921) - you deserved it (7959)
On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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