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Tuesday 1 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29664) - you deserved it (5897)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29545) - you deserved it (4529)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29146) - you deserved it (5997)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29065) - you deserved it (5048)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

#20434038
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28958) - you deserved it (2653)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

#20447722
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28767) - you deserved it (3490)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

#20441300
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28548) - you deserved it (2073)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:36pm - work - by fucked five ways to friday (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28493) - you deserved it (9319)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28155) - you deserved it (8727)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

#20446338
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (4545)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27503) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27106) - you deserved it (2832)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States



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