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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23991) - you deserved it (7966)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (7083)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

#20441300
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23549) - you deserved it (1217)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:36pm - work - by fucked five ways to friday (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML

#20429358
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23526) - you deserved it (1829)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:33am - love - by nosleep (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

#20432925
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23316) - you deserved it (7725)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML

#20429371
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23229) - you deserved it (2717)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:41am - kids - by shadowreaper101 (man) - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23005) - you deserved it (2992)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22935) - you deserved it (2193)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22705) - you deserved it (5547)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML

#20431107
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22573) - you deserved it (2224)

On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (17371)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

#20423262
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22084) - you deserved it (2148)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML

#20430536
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (5146)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by single once again (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)



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