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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43098) - you deserved it (6085)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43089) - you deserved it (4272)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

#20435818
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42861) - you deserved it (14277)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

#20438192
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42819) - you deserved it (2036)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42763) - you deserved it (5288)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML

#20417856
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42473) - you deserved it (4297)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML

#20427797
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42429) - you deserved it (4070)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

#20427124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41625) - you deserved it (8429)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML

#20432536
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41433) - you deserved it (3664)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

#20438672
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41341) - you deserved it (9440)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

#20430574
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41004) - you deserved it (2540)

On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40667) - you deserved it (15191)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

#20434472
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40665) - you deserved it (3823)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States



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