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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML

#20429358
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33210) - you deserved it (3098)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:33am - love - by nosleep (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33061) - you deserved it (5521)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32615) - you deserved it (7976)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

#20434038
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32536) - you deserved it (2991)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32487) - you deserved it (2782)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

#20422121
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32109) - you deserved it (8023)

On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML

#20431107
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31995) - you deserved it (3581)

On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

#20441300
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (2334)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:36pm - work - by fucked five ways to friday (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31867) - you deserved it (9909)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML

#20430536
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31652) - you deserved it (7456)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by single once again (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31523) - you deserved it (3898)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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