Sunday 30 December 2012 
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Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15622) - you deserved it (11894)
On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States
Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15528) - you deserved it (9720)
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (34475)
On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15114) - you deserved it (2830)
On 01/05/2013 at 11:00am - health - by Dracoboxer357 - Canada
Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15088) - you deserved it (16931)
On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15079) - you deserved it (6399)
On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14257) - you deserved it (2478)
On 01/04/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14161) - you deserved it (1014)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by tftm - United States (Illinois)
Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13903) - you deserved it (5871)
On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13791) - you deserved it (2218)
On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, both my car and my father's car were broken into. They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, and multiple items of clothing. What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13649) - you deserved it (3466)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13403) - you deserved it (19480)
On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13289) - you deserved it (13924)
On 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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