Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

#20443243
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18770) - you deserved it (1694)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by tftm - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got an offer to study at a good university. My father has been pushing me to apply for years, so I ecstatically broke the news. Instead of congratulating me, he just grunted and delivered the more important news that he's divorcing my mum. Moment ruined. FML

#20443641
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18661) - you deserved it (1256)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Sad nerd (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

#20442068
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18652) - you deserved it (6994)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML

#20442809
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18623) - you deserved it (3599)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML

#20444550
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18388) - you deserved it (6009)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:17am - misc - by kiken.bara - United States

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17907) - you deserved it (6535)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

#20420433
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17835) - you deserved it (49698)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

#20425068
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17806) - you deserved it (23341)

On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

#20442876
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17282) - you deserved it (3479)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

#20424412
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16550) - you deserved it (19320)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16522) - you deserved it (35866)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML

#20430472
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16461) - you deserved it (31858)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: