Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 28 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

#20434038
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28956) - you deserved it (2653)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28910) - you deserved it (7526)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (2515)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

#20441300
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (2073)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:36pm - work - by fucked five ways to friday (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28489) - you deserved it (9319)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

#20422121
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28303) - you deserved it (7599)

On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML

#20431107
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28250) - you deserved it (3254)

On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28153) - you deserved it (8726)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML

#20430536
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28065) - you deserved it (7038)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by single once again (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28032) - you deserved it (3090)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

#20428520
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (3525)

On 12/28/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by say dump him and i'll kill you (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: