Friday 28 December 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19711) - you deserved it (5220)
On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19618) - you deserved it (32642) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19389) - you deserved it (4101)
On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19048) - you deserved it (4355)
On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)
Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18890) - you deserved it (1237)
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18860) - you deserved it (3860)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18167) - you deserved it (7149)
On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17386) - you deserved it (1192)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17310) - you deserved it (875)
On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16430) - you deserved it (1391)
On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16359) - you deserved it (14674)
On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States
Today, I went to dinner with my girlfriend of 2 months. This would have been great, had I not been nodding absentmindedly when she suggested that we start planning our wedding soon, because "she's always dreamt of being married on the same day as Brad and Angelina." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15958) - you deserved it (14606)
On 01/03/2013 at 1:47am - love - by Brad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15818) - you deserved it (35067)
On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
