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Thursday 27 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23876) - you deserved it (7070)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

#20441300
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23508) - you deserved it (1215)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:36pm - work - by fucked five ways to friday (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML

#20429358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23466) - you deserved it (1826)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:33am - love - by nosleep (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML

#20429371
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (2716)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:41am - kids - by shadowreaper101 (man) - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23086) - you deserved it (1724)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you deserved it (2189)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22610) - you deserved it (5540)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML

#20431107
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22506) - you deserved it (2221)

On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you deserved it (17322)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

#20423262
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22021) - you deserved it (2145)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML

#20430536
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21975) - you deserved it (5143)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by single once again (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

#20440980
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21925) - you deserved it (1327)

On 01/03/2013 at 3:35pm - kids - by PrezKisame (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

#20428520
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (2325)

On 12/28/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by say dump him and i'll kill you (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)



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