Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 23 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63992) - you deserved it (15777)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML

#20427017
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46900) - you deserved it (2628)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46401) - you deserved it (2640)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44570) - you deserved it (7274)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43343) - you deserved it (2491)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

#20413271
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42700) - you deserved it (3318)

On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42156) - you deserved it (3410)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40119) - you deserved it (4394)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend breaking things off with me. He waited until the day after Christmas because he wanted all his presents. And he got me nothing. FML

#20423285
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38425) - you deserved it (3046)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:32am - love - by Jolene - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

#20431269
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38095) - you deserved it (2966)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37842) - you deserved it (386)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

#20429745
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37762) - you deserved it (2105)

On 12/29/2012 at 10:50am - love - by awkward. (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: