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Sunday 23 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

#20431241
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33684) - you deserved it (2448)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:14am - work - by avoid the sour cream - United States

Today, my trunk froze shut with my Christmas presents inside. Since it was still shut, I went to the store. When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open. All of my gifts were gone. FML

#20426934
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33506) - you deserved it (4660)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by wheresmysweater - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33392) - you deserved it (19146)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML

#20425281
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32994) - you deserved it (2029)

On 12/27/2012 at 3:52am - work - by Ross R - United States (Washington)

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32808) - you deserved it (25282)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32022) - you deserved it (8179)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML

#20429358
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (3003)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:33am - love - by nosleep (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 6-year-old nephew opened his Christmas gift. The first words out of his mouth were, "This is cheap." FML

#20427233
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31748) - you deserved it (6365)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:03am - kids - by UngratefulBrat - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

#20404496
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31648) - you deserved it (10627)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31282) - you deserved it (3775)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31068) - you deserved it (3352)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30960) - you deserved it (5760)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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