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Thursday 20 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML

#20423057
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28487) - you deserved it (2251)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:53am - misc - by Shelle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28442) - you deserved it (8507)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

#20418159
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28238) - you deserved it (2057)

On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

#20405217
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28136) - you deserved it (4765)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28031) - you deserved it (5466)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27917) - you deserved it (6015)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27651) - you deserved it (14213)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27611) - you deserved it (2864)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27542) - you deserved it (2070)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML

#20425281
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27235) - you deserved it (1342)

On 12/27/2012 at 3:52am - work - by Ross R - United States (Washington)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27223) - you deserved it (7284)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML

#20407793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26977) - you deserved it (3513)

On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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