Thursday 20 December 2012 
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Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25305) - you deserved it (2541)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:17am - work - by ehrmagahd (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25187) - you deserved it (7590)
On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (9324)
On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24939) - you deserved it (4514)
On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24798) - you deserved it (1612)
On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24734) - you deserved it (1718)
On 12/26/2012 at 3:53am - misc - by Shelle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24680) - you deserved it (2448)
On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24257) - you deserved it (5703)
On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24237) - you deserved it (2849)
On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24110) - you deserved it (3687)
On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -
Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24002) - you deserved it (7901)
On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States
Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23887) - you deserved it (2652)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to the local used books store to sell all my college textbooks. I spent several hundred dollars on them in total. I ended up walking out of the shop a pathetic $3.50 richer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23585) - you deserved it (6177)
On 12/21/2012 at 7:11pm - money - by futuregigolo (man) - United States (Colorado)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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