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Thursday 20 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35982) - you deserved it (3052)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35843) - you deserved it (3617)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34469) - you deserved it (3667)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34270) - you deserved it (8440)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34241) - you deserved it (6098)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

#20405217
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34200) - you deserved it (5522)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33931) - you deserved it (9313)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML

#20407793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33623) - you deserved it (4105)

On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

#20418159
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33487) - you deserved it (2409)

On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML

#20423057
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33424) - you deserved it (2630)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:53am - misc - by Shelle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

#20404496
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33034) - you deserved it (10919)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32702) - you deserved it (3944)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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