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Wednesday 19 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML

#20420733
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16928) - you deserved it (29187)

On 12/25/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

#20413212
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15813) - you deserved it (74169)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

#20407433
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14670) - you deserved it (35725)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I unwrapped my present and, to my surprise, I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently, my parents are "Tired of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house." FML

#20423026
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14610) - you deserved it (21908)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14212) - you deserved it (35128)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML

#20421236
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13069) - you deserved it (40566)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Christmasloverandstuff - United States

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

#20403223
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12951) - you deserved it (26107)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by LemmyIsWet (man) - United States

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

#20405613
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12459) - you deserved it (62254)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

#20407310
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12325) - you deserved it (79712)

On 12/19/2012 at 10:26am - love - by rightinthekarma (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

#20412747
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12320) - you deserved it (47618)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:01am - love - by Stupid Drunk - United States

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

#20411716
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12223) - you deserved it (38479)

On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

#20418077
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12090) - you deserved it (39848)

On 12/24/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by chunderful202 - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML

#20422230
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11843) - you deserved it (34127)

On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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