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Friday 14 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33732) - you deserved it (3662)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML

#20401697
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33728) - you deserved it (2508)

On 12/16/2012 at 3:31am - love - by ghost? - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

#20409541
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33550) - you deserved it (3978)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33098) - you deserved it (19036)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32833) - you deserved it (17203)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32792) - you deserved it (3742)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32538) - you deserved it (9107)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

#20398872
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32257) - you deserved it (2673)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

#20399736
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32009) - you deserved it (5962)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31699) - you deserved it (3311)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31604) - you deserved it (6249)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31184) - you deserved it (16377)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)



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