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Friday 14 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30378) - you deserved it (2975)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30037) - you deserved it (2687)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML

#20409563
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29147) - you deserved it (4856)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML

#20408586
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (6630)

On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States

Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML

#20408309
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29044) - you deserved it (1971)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:55am - health - by antiqued - United States (California)

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28618) - you deserved it (8161)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

#20409541
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27957) - you deserved it (2842)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27598) - you deserved it (9445)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27592) - you deserved it (3157)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27109) - you deserved it (14054)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26953) - you deserved it (2838)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (13110)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML

#20401697
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26783) - you deserved it (1738)

On 12/16/2012 at 3:31am - love - by ghost? - Australia (Western Australia)



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