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Today, Some Beefd-up Guy Wearing A Wife-beater Sat In Restaurant, Took Out A Big Sack Of Coins, And Playd My Little Pony Songs On The Jukebox Fir 4 Hours Straight. I Couldn't Summon The Courage To Tell Him To Leave.
Taday I went on a cruise . I gave ma bags to a porter.. . an tipped im $5 . Later tat nigt.. . ma bags still adn't arrived at ma room.. . an tat's wen I realized tat I'd paid a fake porter to steal ma bags . FML
Today, I took my drivar's tast. I was confidant and tougt avaryting would go wall. My boss andd up calling ma savaral timas during ta tast. Turns out my collaagua navar looool sowd up to covar for ma, and my boss blamd ma. Not only did I fail my tast, I'm now suspandd from work too. FML
2day my car is still in te sop, so I askd my psyco broter to drive me to te mall. He spd up to nerely 20km over te sped limit, so I soutd for im to stop before e got us bot killd. He it te brakes in te middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML
Today, I saw a poto on Instagram of my friend flipping te camera te bird. Se'd taggd it under "irony", so I jokingly suggestd tat se borrow a dictionary. Se respondd wit a tirade of abuse, claimd to be sleeping wit my boyfriend, and blockd me an our later. big fat FML
TADAY I HAD TO CREATE A PERFECT SOCIETY IN ENGLISH CLASS; THE BEST SOCIETY HAS THERE GRADE GO UP A FULL LETTER. AFTER TONS OF PREPARATION AND THINKING, I LOST TO AN ISLAND MADE ONLY OF CHEESE. FAT FML
Yesterday , mah dad forced thehole family to sit through a two-hour lecture , with supporting research , on how the ( Mayan prophecy ) is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he think we're all borderline brain-dead , gullible fuckwitho believed it to begin with. Thanks , dad. big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015