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Tuesday 11 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27285) - you deserved it (12890)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

#20401539
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27237) - you deserved it (7489)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27026) - you deserved it (6711)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26843) - you deserved it (6301)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26822) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26564) - you deserved it (2018)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

#20404919
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26444) - you deserved it (5728)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML

#20405855
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (3674)

On 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm - misc - by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch - United States (Arizona)

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

#20397679
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26065) - you deserved it (1974)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25868) - you deserved it (3927)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML

#20397919
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25765) - you deserved it (2155)

On 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (5174)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my son sprayed the bottom of my car and windows white with fake snow in Christmas cheer. He did a great job, except he used white spray paint instead of the fake snow. FML

#20400437
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25479) - you deserved it (2151)

On 12/15/2012 at 6:48am - misc - by teejayrn - United States (North Carolina)



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