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Sunday 9 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29559) - you deserved it (4549)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29552) - you deserved it (5097)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29416) - you deserved it (2259)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29320) - you deserved it (6684)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

#20198007
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29192) - you deserved it (9767)

On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (3196)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28841) - you deserved it (1657)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML

#20197805
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28667) - you deserved it (1697)

On 12/09/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML

#20397919
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (2385)

On 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States

Today, as my 12 hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML

#20398760
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28222) - you deserved it (2290)

On 12/14/2012 at 12:10am - kids - by Ethan_18 - United States

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

#20397287
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28116) - you deserved it (4744)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28064) - you deserved it (2854)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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