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Sunday 9 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26356) - you deserved it (9956)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend sent me so many nice texts that he made me fall in love with him that little bit more. It turns out he was sweetening me up before telling me he cheated on me the night before. FML

#20192047
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26321) - you deserved it (1988)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:29am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML

#20201674
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (2041)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

#20200411
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25942) - you deserved it (5382)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

#20201870
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25876) - you deserved it (3733)

On 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm - love - by dino0123 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (1979)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (2885)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML

#20197805
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25723) - you deserved it (1466)

On 12/09/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25706) - you deserved it (1445)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25624) - you deserved it (4664)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

#20398504
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25503) - you deserved it (4816) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25474) - you deserved it (6498)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -



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