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Sunday 9 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my "friends" set me up on a blind date with a guy who according to their description, sounded perfect in just about every way. He turned out to be my obsessive ex, and this is their idea of a funny prank. FML

#20402162
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31236) - you deserved it (3025)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:15pm - love - by lovelychris - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31013) - you deserved it (3813)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML

#20399062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31000) - you deserved it (1904)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by MiscHats (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend sent me so many nice texts that he made me fall in love with him that little bit more. It turns out he was sweetening me up before telling me he cheated on me the night before. FML

#20192047
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30999) - you deserved it (2353)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:29am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30433) - you deserved it (6402)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

#20402014
134 comments

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML

#20200046
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (2905)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML

#20397769
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30012) - you deserved it (8385)

On 12/13/2012 at 9:35am - misc - by AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML

#20201674
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29920) - you deserved it (2376)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29833) - you deserved it (1867)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29819) - you deserved it (3648)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, my best friend announced she was getting married. I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid but she then added, "You can't be in the bridal party because you don't have the same body type as the other bridesmaids. But you can still come to the bachelorette party!" FML

#20194701
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29806) - you deserved it (2475)

On 12/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by SBCR (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29680) - you deserved it (11260)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)



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