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Friday 7 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML

#20201674
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (1442)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21379) - you deserved it (14655)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML

#20201389
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21358) - you deserved it (1645) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/12/2012 at 12:29am - love - by Karim - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

#20200411
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21288) - you deserved it (3986)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML

#20397919
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20832) - you deserved it (1766)

On 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

#20398504
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20681) - you deserved it (3709) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20657) - you deserved it (4923)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (7657)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)

Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML

#20398310
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20603) - you deserved it (1102)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by surrounded by dumbfucks (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20559) - you deserved it (1932)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20374) - you deserved it (3401)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

#20397679
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20356) - you deserved it (1548)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

#20196308
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20259) - you deserved it (2574)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)



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