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Friday 7 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

#20397583
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21687) - you deserved it (2046)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:58am - health - by meranda_johnson - United States

Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML

#20192758
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21546) - you deserved it (1376)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27pm - money - by lonelyandcold (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21544) - you deserved it (1377)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21213) - you deserved it (2255)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21126) - you deserved it (1955)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (2179)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

#20196308
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (2627)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

#20397679
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (1587)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20931) - you deserved it (2174)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20904) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

#20397574
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20861) - you deserved it (1306)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20730) - you deserved it (1440)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20624) - you deserved it (1733)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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