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Thursday 6 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

#20199403
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28620) - you deserved it (7793)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm - money - by ihncredible - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28289) - you deserved it (1962)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28018) - you deserved it (5138)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27693) - you deserved it (4502)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

#20397574
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27541) - you deserved it (1812)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27466) - you deserved it (2340)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27011) - you deserved it (1785)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, while picking up a birthday cake, I was screamed at by an upset woman for getting special attention from the bakers, and that I was nothing more than an attention-hogging slut. The bakers are my co-workers and I was picking my cake up on my day off. FML

#20201761
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27009) - you deserved it (1816)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

#20191703
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26995) - you deserved it (4083)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

Today, my daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was being arrested for shoplifting. FML

#20193017
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (2634)

On 12/05/2012 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dropped my handbag into a water-filled gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of my bag, I looked up. There was my ex, with the girl he left me for walking past, timed exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons. FML

#20194448
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (2097)

On 12/06/2012 at 10:11pm - love - by shamefaced (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

#20196764
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26401) - you deserved it (2032)

On 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by ko - United States (Illinois)



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