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Tuesday 4 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21254) - you deserved it (1814)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML

#20193344
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21201) - you deserved it (1994)

On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you deserved it (2180)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21000) - you deserved it (1632)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML

#20198068
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20990) - you deserved it (4170)

On 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm - health - by Aaron - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

#20200774
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20913) - you deserved it (1928)

On 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by JPPUDLY (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20876) - you deserved it (1449)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20860) - you deserved it (3468)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20762) - you deserved it (2218)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20700) - you deserved it (2910)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20402) - you deserved it (7851)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML

#20200420
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20370) - you deserved it (21245)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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