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Tuesday 4 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14732) - you deserved it (5461)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML

#20198068
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14725) - you deserved it (2691)

On 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm - health - by Aaron - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14669) - you deserved it (970)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

#20193921
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14590) - you deserved it (1117)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

#20195266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14238) - you deserved it (7493)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

#20197946
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14187) - you deserved it (5012)

On 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE (man) - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)

Today, after weeks of begging, I finally got an interview at my dream job. Turns out, they only agreed to interview me because they thought I was someone else. FML

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

#20189035
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14040) - you deserved it (1366)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:17am - misc - by Stupendous_ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13717) - you deserved it (6623)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13713) - you deserved it (2626)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into school confident about the new hair color I'd had done over the weekend. My drama teacher apparently dyed her hair the same color; everyone noticed and thought I'd copied her. FML

#20190350
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13686) - you deserved it (1268)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

#20190801
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13319) - you deserved it (1651)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:17am - love - by Single (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

#20188897
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13165) - you deserved it (1675)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:18am - health - by Gahh... (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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