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Friday 30 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20799) - you deserved it (1686)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20698) - you deserved it (3855)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (3000)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20416) - you deserved it (2815)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20412) - you deserved it (27139)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

#20189035
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20176) - you deserved it (2147)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:17am - misc - by Stupendous_ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20157) - you deserved it (1523)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20144) - you deserved it (1782)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

#20190801
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20024) - you deserved it (2600)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:17am - love - by Single (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I walked into school confident about the new hair color I'd had done over the weekend. My drama teacher apparently dyed her hair the same color; everyone noticed and thought I'd copied her. FML

#20190350
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19939) - you deserved it (2011)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19769) - you deserved it (5386)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)



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