Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 30 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML

#20193344
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15713) - you deserved it (1294)

On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15598) - you deserved it (2840)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15463) - you deserved it (1841)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15283) - you deserved it (1433)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15191) - you deserved it (1488)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15158) - you deserved it (1190)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15151) - you deserved it (1076)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML

#20183806
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15114) - you deserved it (2855)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15114) - you deserved it (2020)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

#20181219
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15090) - you deserved it (4749)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14983) - you deserved it (451)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

#20190508
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14873) - you deserved it (935)

On 12/04/2012 at 2:10am - health - by SApprentice (woman) - United States (Virginia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14848) - you deserved it (2049)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by