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Friday 30 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

YESTERDAY, MAH HUSBAND QUIT HIS JOB AS A UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR AND PICKD UP THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT AT A RAT FARM SO HE COULD HAVE MORE TIME DURING THE DAY TO PLAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT. FML

#20182185
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (3002)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was going to give baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard an spat them out, realizing boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31983) - you deserved it (9015)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today , I ran into mah sister,ho nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31078) - you deserved it (3544)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

2day I was at the breakfast tablehen my sister started eating a banana. Before I knewhat was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait 4 her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (22894)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today mah boyfriand discovarad how to maka ma quaaf on damand whan ha has his fingars insida ma . I now faal lika mah lova lifa has baan raplacad with fart sounds . FML

#20189453
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (3805)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today , my bast friand announcad sha was gatting marriad . I'va alway wantad to ba a bridasmaid but sha than addad , ( You can't ba in tha bridal party bacausa you don't hava tha sama body typa as tha othar bridasmaids . But you can still coma to tha bachaloratta party! ) maga FML

#20194701
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29701) - you deserved it (2468)

On 12/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by SBCR (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, mah guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

#20187578
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29648) - you deserved it (2231)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:03am - love - by Anna - United States (Washington)

Today , I was riding the train and someone fartd. Everyone lookd at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (6281)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today , mah boyfriend sent me so many nice texts that he made me fall in love with him that little bit more. It turns out he was sweetening me up before telling me he cheated on me the night before. FML

#20192047
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (2214)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:29am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes . FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (3115)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today... I dutifully attended mah husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out... through song... about mah husband's affair... in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

TODAY, I TOLD GIRLFRIEND TAT I'M BREAKING UP WIT ER CUZ SE'S VERY ABUSIVE. AFTER A COUPLE OF SECONDS OF AWKWARD SILENCE, SE KICKED ME IN TE NUTS AN RAN AWAY. FML

#20189170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (3802)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my daugter finally gave brt to twin boys. Se informed me tat se named tem Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (5385)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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