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Thursday 29 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

#20182185
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (1979)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you deserved it (1922)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

#20187578
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22957) - you deserved it (1410)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:03am - love - by Anna - United States (Washington)

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

#20191850
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (1324)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:35am - love - by musiciansareoneofakind (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21975) - you deserved it (4359)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my boyfriend sent me so many nice texts that he made me fall in love with him that little bit more. It turns out he was sweetening me up before telling me he cheated on me the night before. FML

#20192047
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21756) - you deserved it (1462)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:29am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20869) - you deserved it (2060)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20862) - you deserved it (942)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20783) - you deserved it (5946)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20681) - you deserved it (2247)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20393) - you deserved it (3600)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20227) - you deserved it (2518)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20120) - you deserved it (1628)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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