Thursday 29 November 2012 
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Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16143) - you deserved it (4986)
On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16106) - you deserved it (2695)
On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16052) - you deserved it (2440)
On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15890) - you deserved it (869)
On 12/05/2012 at 6:27pm - money - by lonelyandcold (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15843) - you deserved it (796)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15714) - you deserved it (1293)
On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15595) - you deserved it (2840)
On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15462) - you deserved it (1841)
On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15273) - you deserved it (1433)
On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)
Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15190) - you deserved it (1488)
On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States
Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15157) - you deserved it (1190)
On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15148) - you deserved it (1076)
On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15114) - you deserved it (2019)
On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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