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Thursday 29 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I ad a presentation in Frenc class. I was so nervous , te frst ting I said wen I got up tere was , "Hola." FML

#20193303
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25216) - you deserved it (4792)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly calld the waiter over an paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returnd, he broke up with me for ( emasculating ) him. fat FML

#20180957
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (4161)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I brought a boy over to mah house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swoopd in and bombardd him with questions about his and mah sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML

#20186150
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25126) - you deserved it (1914)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband my mother invited us both to a family dinner . My husband wanted to give her another chance so we went . Less than an hour after arriving I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food . FML

#20182910
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25086) - you deserved it (1572)

On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

I droppd mah handbag into a water-filld gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of mah bag... I lookd up. There was mah ex... with the girl he left me fir walking past... timd exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons.

#20194448
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24993) - you deserved it (1938)

On 12/06/2012 at 10:11pm - love - by shamefaced (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, ( So, is it, like, November in Australia too? ) This is the future of America.

#20179140
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (2473)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a grl in front of meho clerely wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

#20182568
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24846) - you deserved it (2108)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm - health - by williebees - United States (Texas)

2day mah boyfriend dumpd me by throwing mah stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I trid explaining that I have no clue wat he's talking about, he startd exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants looool on fire!" FML

#20180296
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24764) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

today mah grlfriend got into the Christmas cheerhile giving me a hand job, smashing mah nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells!! FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (3942)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was bartending . A guest was getting belligerent so I ad to cut im off . He calld me a bitc and trew te rest of is drink in my face before storming off . Te belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend . big fat FML

#20193528
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (4116)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, mah daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was bieng arrested for shoplifting. FML

#20193017
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24159) - you deserved it (2397)

On 12/05/2012 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

I was working the dart game at mah local amusement parkhen a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicatd, an they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

Today, I was at mah boyfriend's househen I got a call from mah parents . They told me to come home immediately . Panicking, I rushd home . My dad pulld out a clear tube filld with drid leaves . They accusd me of having marijuana . It was catnip fir mah kitten . FML

#20187165
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24024) - you deserved it (1808)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)



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