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Monday 26 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22234) - you deserved it (3019)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22219) - you deserved it (6037)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21777) - you deserved it (3874)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same one. FML

#20183806
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21753) - you deserved it (4077)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

#20181219
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21484) - you deserved it (6780)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21332) - you deserved it (4163)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21225) - you deserved it (1604)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21207) - you deserved it (1643)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21080) - you deserved it (1621)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20939) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20831) - you deserved it (1686)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20616) - you deserved it (3001)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20430) - you deserved it (27167)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States



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