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Monday 26 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21241) - you deserved it (4154)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21125) - you deserved it (1641)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21002) - you deserved it (1469)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20956) - you deserved it (2707)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20888) - you deserved it (2229)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20846) - you deserved it (2918)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20748) - you deserved it (1684)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20736) - you deserved it (2864)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20360) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

#20189035
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20117) - you deserved it (2144)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:17am - misc - by Stupendous_ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20108) - you deserved it (1520)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20095) - you deserved it (1779)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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