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Monday 26 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wearing the same outfit. FML

#20184947
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21820) - you deserved it (5143)

On 11/30/2012 at 1:30am - misc - by Awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21627) - you deserved it (2495)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21606) - you deserved it (2094)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21466) - you deserved it (6059)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

#20187165
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21417) - you deserved it (1564)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML

#20186150
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21297) - you deserved it (1598)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21287) - you deserved it (3562)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

#20182910
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21230) - you deserved it (1296)

On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML

#20180681
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21181) - you deserved it (11566)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

#20183959
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (1272)

On 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm - work - by bitch i'm a gerontophile (man) - Taiwan

Today, my friend spilt orange juice all over my iPad. She then went ahead to clean it off by rinsing it with water. FML

#20187648
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20456) - you deserved it (1823)

On 12/02/2012 at 5:16am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20361) - you deserved it (2551)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)



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