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Monday 26 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22108) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (1926)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20961) - you deserved it (2068)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20947) - you deserved it (944)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20874) - you deserved it (5952)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20377) - you deserved it (1952)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend spilt orange juice all over my iPad. She then went ahead to clean it off by rinsing it with water. FML

#20187648
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (1789)

On 12/02/2012 at 5:16am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

#20182157
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19691) - you deserved it (1687)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

#20182910
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19589) - you deserved it (1044)

On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, this really big woman asked me for some cigarettes. I didn't have any, which made her angry. Angry enough to pick me up, stuff me in a dumpster, and sit on the lid. I still smell like garbage. FML

#20183027
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19413) - you deserved it (1313)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

#20188038
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19407) - you deserved it (1326)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

#20186585
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19317) - you deserved it (1737)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19153) - you deserved it (2444)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)



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