Monday 26 November 2012 
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Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17389) - you deserved it (1287)
On 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm - health - by williebees - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17265) - you deserved it (1062)
On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wearing the same outfit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17257) - you deserved it (3711)
On 11/30/2012 at 1:30am - misc - by Awks - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16903) - you deserved it (1297)
On 11/28/2012 at 10:14am - work - by hawksbc (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16745) - you deserved it (8762)
On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16735) - you deserved it (1769)
On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)
Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16614) - you deserved it (1149)
On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16324) - you deserved it (1478)
On 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16253) - you deserved it (1222)
On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)
Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16226) - you deserved it (2449)
On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16213) - you deserved it (4996)
On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16083) - you deserved it (1240)
On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -
Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16043) - you deserved it (5786)
On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)
Monday 17 June 2013
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