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Sunday 25 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19884) - you deserved it (3579)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19719) - you deserved it (1610)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

#20174185
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19589) - you deserved it (1427)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19403) - you deserved it (2860)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, a few of my friends and I went laser tagging. I had been smart enough to wear black since I know white glows in the dark. Unfortunately, the dandruff glowing in my hair gave me away. FML

#20180680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19397) - you deserved it (7977)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by tarlyo2012 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

#20178213
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19347) - you deserved it (1336)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19310) - you deserved it (3908)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19070) - you deserved it (1443)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18995) - you deserved it (2969)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18974) - you deserved it (25206)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18951) - you deserved it (1450)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18852) - you deserved it (2791)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18844) - you deserved it (2657)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)



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