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Sunday 25 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today Ma Girlfriend Looked Me Straigt In Te Eye An Said, "I Know About Te Sea Turtles." I Asked Er Wat Se Was Talking About An Se Said, "Next Time, Sut Up Or I'll Sow You Pain." I Ave No Idea Wat Se's Talking About. FML

#20170012
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (2062)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

2day my boss asked me if I ad any special plans fir Cristmas. After I told im I was planning a trip to Canada, e snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at te office." real FML

#20173791
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21978) - you deserved it (1479)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handd in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopid and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21915) - you deserved it (4766)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked into ma ouse wit ma friend, only to discover ma usband alf-naked and yelling at te TV screen over a soccer game. By alf-naked, I mean e was only wereing a srt. FML

#20169569
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21878) - you deserved it (2374)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

TODAY, MAH 5 KIDS WERE SINGING THIER FAVORITE CHRISTMA CAROL IN THE VAN, EACH TRYING TO SING LOUDER THAN THE OTHERS. IT WOULD HAVE PROBABLY SOUNDED BETTER IF THEY WERE ALL SINGING THE SAME ONE. FML

#20183806
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21699) - you deserved it (4075)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and mah parents are sitting across the room, eating. big fat FML

#20171321
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21652) - you deserved it (1418)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ran across te street due to a line of cars waiting fir me to cross. Just as I reaced te oter side, my iPone slipped out of my and an fell into te road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after te oter. FML

#20181219
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21451) - you deserved it (6773)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I have a final for mah precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realizd that I'd forgotten mah calculator. FML

#20172402
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21370) - you deserved it (6647)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today mah cat peed on mah bra !! I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work 4 mah 12-hour shift !! Now I'm trying to wash mah bra out in the sink an stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture !! Only 10 more hours to go an the smell of cat pee is still lingering !! FML

#20185014
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21274) - you deserved it (4157)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

2day I finally summonad tha couraga to ask my dad to pay ma as ha promisad, aftar I cut tha lawn an claanad all tha housa windows last waak. His rasponsa was, ( Gat fuckad. ) FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20993) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (3703)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Yesterday, mom found her CD of cats an dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until looool Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20783) - you deserved it (1685)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20725) - you deserved it (2864)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)



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