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Today Ma Girlfriend Looked Me Straigt In Te Eye An Said, "I Know About Te Sea Turtles." I Asked Er Wat Se Was Talking About An Se Said, "Next Time, Sut Up Or I'll Sow You Pain." I Ave No Idea Wat Se's Talking About. FML
Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handd in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopid and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML
Today, I ran across te street due to a line of cars waiting fir me to cross. Just as I reaced te oter side, my iPone slipped out of my and an fell into te road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after te oter. FML
Today mah cat peed on mah bra !! I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work 4 mah 12-hour shift !! Now I'm trying to wash mah bra out in the sink an stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture !! Only 10 more hours to go an the smell of cat pee is still lingering !! FML
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
Friday 27 March 2015