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Sunday 25 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22954) - you deserved it (2375)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML

#20170659
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22900) - you deserved it (1516)

On 11/20/2012 at 5:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22850) - you deserved it (3143)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got laid off. Why would they lay me off right before the holidays? Because they want to make sure every one else gets a nice holiday bonus. FML

#20173186
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22806) - you deserved it (1435)

On 11/21/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22719) - you deserved it (2279)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (1503)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22556) - you deserved it (4093)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22501) - you deserved it (1527)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

#20173269
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (1406)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Ice cold (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22139) - you deserved it (6022)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22139) - you deserved it (1913)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22127) - you deserved it (5498)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22027) - you deserved it (2915)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)



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