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Saturday 24 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17392) - you deserved it (7099)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17389) - you deserved it (2531)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17314) - you deserved it (1645)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17120) - you deserved it (1387)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16986) - you deserved it (42055)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

#20182765
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16965) - you deserved it (2002)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16886) - you deserved it (1585)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

#20173791
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16434) - you deserved it (908)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

#20185421
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15759) - you deserved it (3904)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15753) - you deserved it (21557)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15412) - you deserved it (6216)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15368) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15310) - you deserved it (3487)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)



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