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Saturday 24 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23650) - you deserved it (1931)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23463) - you deserved it (3246)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

#20174308
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21646) - you deserved it (5431)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21471) - you deserved it (3614)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you deserved it (1926)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21030) - you deserved it (4209)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21033) - you deserved it (2608)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20966) - you deserved it (2068)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20952) - you deserved it (944)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20926) - you deserved it (2118)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

#20177886
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20895) - you deserved it (881)

On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20875) - you deserved it (5954)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

#20174862
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20769) - you deserved it (3015)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States



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