Saturday 24 November 2012 
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Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38210) - you deserved it (11462)
On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30883) - you deserved it (1654)
On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (4318)
On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States
Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (2081)
On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28300) - you deserved it (2715)
On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27229) - you deserved it (9433)
On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26329) - you deserved it (3321)
On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25569) - you deserved it (4070)
On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24525) - you deserved it (6481)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24077) - you deserved it (1863)
On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)
Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23724) - you deserved it (2552)
On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23695) - you deserved it (1981)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23671) - you deserved it (2911)
On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 17 June 2013
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